I've been a little down recently. What with the weather here turning (into what I consider Autumn) to Winter and the novelty of being in Spain wearing thin as well as just generally missing my friends and family and home. I told my sister that I missed my bed and my walls. She asked how someone can miss walls...it is possible. The familiarity of them and the comfort of being in your own room. Don't get me wrong I am still having an amazing time and am still thrilled when I understand and can respond coherently in my ever improving Spanish...but it is getting to the time of year when I should be curled up on my couch under a blanket watching I'm A Celebrity...which is what started this whole problem in the first place...
This post is about homesickness if you haven't guessed. And as I say it isn't an overwhelming thing for me, I just would like to see people and have a break from being on my own. Then again, I may be alone but I'm not lonely.
It was bound to happen sooner or later. And I'm glad it has happened when I only have part of a month to go before I am home for a short, really short, while. Homesickness is horrid. All I want is a big hug from my mum or my sister, as if she'd give me one, or one of my friends. I just want to wake up in my own room and to know that I am not alone. I can walk into my lounge and switch on the TV and it to just be normal. I want to go to my Aunty Jeanie's for Sunday dinner, eat apple pie and drink flavoured fizzy water.
These feelings all started in the past two weeks and as I mentioned above it was all due to the beginning of I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here. I was on Skype to my mum and I heard the theme tune. And that was it. I started greeting on the phone to her. I felt as though I wanted nothing more than to be wrapped up in a blanket watching that show. I felt as though that was what I should be doing. Not faffing about here...I mean do I really want a Spanish degree...the answer to that question, sadly and gladly, is yes I do. So I have to stick my time out here.
But that was the start of these feelings, proper homesickness. I have to much free time. I have hours in between school and having anything else to do that I end up spending too much time on my own and with mine own thoughts.
To make matters worse and to make me long for home even more, I caught the flu. I am very susceptible to germs. Every year I have numerous colds, throat infections and sometimes the flu. And yet again this year I have been mixing with a whole new set of germs in the school, Spanish germs to which I don't have immunity. I had a cold two weeks ago and after it passed I developed the flu. Last Tuesday I just had a sore throat, Wednesday I had no voice, Thursday no voice, headaches and the sore throat and on Friday they sent me home from the school because I had a fever to boot.
Friday was horrible. No two ways about it. I had gotten up early for the 8.15 class as I had no confirmation whether I was to be there or not. I go into the class and couldn't speak so I was pretty useless. I fell asleep in the staffroom for an hour after this and then all the teachers were telling me to go home. I just wanted to stay there..it was warm, cosy and I had classes to teach in the afternoon. One of the English teachers, whom I don't know very well, told me to follow her. I must have looked so pathetic. She told me to go to bed. I left the school, feeling absolutely miserable and headed straight for my bed. It took me ages to walk home, as I had no strength at all. I got into bed at about quarter to 11 and slept through until 2pm...then I woke up and had no idea which day it was...I thought I'd slept at least a day, but nope, thankfully it was still the same day. I watched The Simpsons, a little slice of home, and then went back to bed and slept until half 5. Whenever I awoke I just felt so miserable and lonely. I was watery eyed all day. When you're sick all you want is for someone to make you soup, bring you water or just talk to you. Just someone to be there and make sure you are alright.
Skype that night must have not been a good thing for my mum who could see that I was upset and she remembered feeling the same way the first time she got sick after her mum passed away. All she wanted was the comfort and that was all I wanted. Just a hug and a glass of water.
I got better, gradually, over the weekend. I think I'm almost better. Pretty sure my fever has all but gone and my throat is less sore. Luckily these things are easier to get rid of than my feelings. Skype is the best medicine for homesickness and I get to talk to my immediate family most nights that I want. I see my friend's and families posts on Facebook and can talk to them on IM. I email some of my other Aunts, especially my Aunty Angela who I always have to ask about some cooking thing or other. And a lot of them read this blog.
Homesickness is horrid. But it does not and will not negate anything that I do here. It will not stop me from exploring this country, it will not stop me from progressing in my spoken Spanish and it will not stop me from enjoying myself. It will however remind me of how much I love my family and my friends.
BIG HUGS...and I expect them returned at Christmas..
Feel free to comment...
MA x
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